


Holding Back the Shadows

by SaibraRutherford (ScottishVix)



Series: Once We Were [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Helpful Cole (Dragon Age), Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8736058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScottishVix/pseuds/SaibraRutherford
Summary: Saibra worries she's not good enough to be Inquisitor.Takes place between chapters 10 and 11 of Love in the Time of Corypheus





	

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not entirely sure this is my best writing. I’m not sure my characterisation is as good as normal. But if you follow me on Tumblr you'll know I’ve had a rough couple of weeks and this idea got stuck in my head. My Tumblr peeps seemed to enjoy it so I thought I'd put it up here as well. Constructive criticism _very_ welcome here.

Dip, scribble, scribble, scribble, blot, fold, seal.

Dip, scribble, scribble, scribble, blot, fold, seal.

 _What am I doing?_ Saibra thought idly as she copied out the words Josephine had given her. _Cullen is writing condolences to our soldiers’ families and I'm sending Satinalia greetings._

The initial shock of Haven’s destruction and her elevation to Inquisitor had worn off and now she was just so very, very tired. Writing these greetings was make-work, something she could do while her shoulder healed that wouldn't have Vivienne fussing and tutting at her. Josephine assured her it was necessary, these brief salutations to important allies and leaders. King Alistair, Empress Celene (and her cousin Gaspard so they didn't seem to be taking sides in Orlais’ civil war), the Wardens at Weishaupt, and on and on…

At least Josie had agreed that they shouldn't have a big celebration at Skyhold this year. Too many people had lost too much when Haven fell. Mother Giselle would lead a service in the garden for anyone who wished to attend and there would be a feast set out in the great hall but no big parties or revelries. Maybe next year. Saibra didn't feel much like celebrating anyway. 

“Sad and lonely, not good enough. All those people dead because of me. But it wasn't you. It was Him.”

Saibra jumped almost out of her chair as Cole appeared perched on her makeshift desk. He had made no noise entering the tent assigned to her until her room was ready. She had barely seen him since she had put her foot down two days ago and allowed him to stay. “Maker, Cole, you scared me,” she snapped, then felt a painful stab of guilt as he dipped his head at her harsh words. “I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you, just out of sorts. Forgive me.”

“Don't mean to wound. What is wrong with me? Some leader I am. Cassandra would be much better at this than me.” The watery eyes lifted again to peer out from under that ridiculous hat. “It had to be you. They all agreed.”

Saibra sighed. She didn't want this conversation, but she wasn't going to send the boy away. Not after nearly taking his head off. “It had to be me because of this thing on my hand. I'm not the hero they need, just the one they got.” 

Cole cocked his head. He looked like a puppy listening to something distant. “Lyna would have liked Saibra. I wish she had lived to meet her.”

“What?” She knew Cole read minds, but she had never thought…

“Good choice. She’ll be a strong leader. Would have been my choice, if they'd asked me.”

“Who?” Saibra gaped at the spirit boy. “Was that Bull?”

“It will do the world good to see a talented and intelligent mage like Lady Trevelyan heading an organisation like the Inquisition. She will do us all proud.” It was an excellent impression of Vivienne’s inflections. “I'm glad Hawke didn't get sucked into this. But I think with Duchess in charge, we actually have a shot.” There was no mistaking Varric in those words. “She does so much for everyone else. The Inquisitor’s room must have the best of everything.” Lady Montilyet. “Good to have a real person in charge for a change. She’ll listen to the little people.” Sera, of course. 

“Cole, stop,” Saibra begged. “Does everyone feel like that about _me_?”

Cole met her eyes square on. “Maker guard her and guide her. Make me worthy to stand by her side.” She could almost hear the honey of Cullen's voice, softened in prayer. “She is the best of us. Thank you for bringing her back to me.”

Cole hoped off the desk. “They all have faith in you. Have a little in yourself. You should write to your sister. She worries about you.”

Saibra smiled. Her heart felt a little lighter. “I will. Thank you, Cole.”

“I helped?” He looked so like a hopeful puppy that she actually laughed. 

“Yes, Cole. You helped.” He gave her a shy smile and disappeared again. Saibra returned to her desk. Three more names on Josie’s list and then she could write to Vastra. Maybe she and the girls could come visit in the summer? The thought made her heart even lighter. 

Outside the tent, Cole smiled to himself. Friends. They were good things. Maybe he and Saibra could be friends. He'd like that.


End file.
